When it's never 'good enough'.....

I often talk about the perfection mode so many people live with: no matter what they do, it's never good enough; passing sales goals in a month,loosing those 40 pounds, winning the marathon, flying to the moon.
I talk about how that drive for perfection is the endless road; the emotional infinity.

The infinity of perfection is really about the hamster wheel;the endless chase...one keeps running but really never catches the reward of love. This mind set gets cemented in a child's psyche by the time they are 5 years old; they attach performance to finally getting the acceptance and love they were/are entitled to have.

Here's the irony: I help others see it, tackle it and heal from it, but I never thought I was part of 'that' band; I never thought it applied to me until two things happened in the same week.
I had accomplished something that I had been working on all month with very clear daily goals and statistics. I exceeded my goals and many congratulated me...I felt nothing.
I started dating a fellow who was quite smitten with me. All of his compliments fell on deaf ears. I felt nothing.

Coming home from my last date with him, I took stock of the evening and saw the similarity between the two experiences and realized I too had the perfection 'chip', it just unfolds in a different manner.

In my next post, I am going to share with you how I am solving this puzzle and allowing myself to finally receive in arenas that have traditionally been verboten.