Is That Your Hand in MY Pocket ?

Why negotiating is good for your self-esteem.

There’s no question that women have issues about money, entitlements, and boundaries.
Knowing where this all comes from is a critical piece in someone’s journey of healing. Self-awareness is the portal to repairing the damage a woman feels today from her childhood experiences and societal messaging.
The women who negotiate about personal items verses business items, are comfortable in their sense of entitlements; “it’s my money and I will decide how and where I spend it, and I am not concerned about your perception of WHO I am in this exchange.” Bravo !!

But, most women shy away from negotiating because it touches off shame and the lack of boundaries. So often what underlies the hesitation to negotiate is the need for approval and to be liked, even by a stranger. How many times do you hear women refuse to go into small boutiques to shop because the attention of the sales person is too focused on them? They have difficulty setting the boundaries and will feel intimidated, whereas in a larger store, they can be almost invisible.

A good tool for one’s self-esteem is this:
Look at purchasing as a game. Find what you want, set a price lower than the ticket and then engage the salesperson and query them how to get the item for less… what would you have to give up to knock the price down? And, relax while you do it, keep your face and body soft and likable, smile a lot and be persistent. People prefer to deal with people who are sweet, lovely, and humorous…. remember, they may be having a challenging day, and you could very well be the highlight of their day.