Worrying...a form of punishment ?

There is no doubt that worrying is gender specific; women worry more than men. I was thinking about an article a friend sent the other day from a woman's health site that was taking about the physical ramifications of worrying and how it is so bad for one's health. Well,on one hand, that just adds more worrying; worrying about worrying. hmmmm.
And then I started to think, "why do we worry more?"

I always go backwards to our development as a society...back to pioneer days, back to cave man days ...and what seems to be consistent is the feeling of vulnerability; women have that instinctively, men don't. Women were left behind to tend the hearth, protect the children, keep the nest intact; men were out competing and bringing home food.

Ok, so now what do we do with that insight?
I have had clients for whom worrying is almost a second job. For me, worrying has taken on the subtle mantel of self-punishment. As my life has shifted in many ways quite dramatically this past year, my anger over some of my choices is surfacing, and instead of being played out in a direct manner, it has been disguised as worrying.

How do I know this to be true? Because every time we depart from being totally authentic and allow our fears to control our actions, we are being unfaithful to ourselves. It matters less the 'weapon of choice' and more that once we have crossed over the threshold of taking back our lives, we are smarter, more aware and more clever to find new ways to keep ourselves in the dark. It is a constant work in progress.

Worrying takes us away from being in the moment. Worrying shifts the focus from the now to the future, and side steps the compassion for our selves and the surrender of the thinking that things will be whatever the universe has planned for us.

For me, this has been the year of letting go...which I think I have only made progress to 25%; it is truly one of the hardest things for me to do. Letting go requires trust of the unknown, giving up control, getting on you back and floating.

More about that next time...