Dancing In The Dark...

I was sitting with a dear friend today who's birthday is this week...turning 46...and I commented on my approaching birthday ( it's 9 months away..) but still, time is moving too fast. I said to her: "I can't dance fast enough to catch up with my life."
After she stopped laughing she said: "What a great book title !" But, it's true...time is speeding so fast, I feel like I have whiplash.

But, the other part of why things feel they are moving so fast is: I am in the dark as to what is around the corner for me; I have my favorite dog loosing her health, I am giving up this amazing house that has helped me heal these last 2.5 years, and my perfect paycheck job is in re-invention mode, so, for the next 6 months, I need a replacement.

Did you just think: "STRESS???" Yup....that's my life now...and has been here since November. But, sometimes I step back and look at the 3 lessons these life altering events are forcing me to face: DOG: Letting go; House: standing still; Job search: Patience.
Each one of those, by themselves is a huge challenge for me, but all three....that's the trifecta! Where can I go to gain wisdom to cope with all of this? Where can I go to just get a break from the constant feeling of a boot on my neck? How do I let go and let it all float off my psyche like paint rising in water off a canvas?

Unfortunately, there is no taking a vacation from this self-imposed 'hamster-on-a-wheel' cycle. The only way out is to bring in the Canadian Mounted Police: Trust, Faith and Courage. This is a toughie...this is real challenge, this feels like the hardest thing I have ever done...: Let go, Stand Still and have Patience. And the underlying force for all three has been fear, so by letting go of the fear, and not jumping into action because of fear and stopping the internal assumptions that what is in my hand will disappear because of fear, I can begin to ground myself and come from a place of power and control. Fear and power are opposite sides of the same coin.

So, another month has passed....and my birthday is now even closer....but, I'm getting some perspective....and not buying candles this week.