A Life and Death Struggle

Why challenging the monsters in your closet sometimes feels like a life and death struggle

A client shared something with me the other day her bouts with FEAR seem to be getting deeper, ironically, as she is shifting and becoming more authentic.
Little things that she has been noticing, like staying on schedule, having more perspective about what is going on in her current life now, keeping her home neater, creating interesting solutions to everyday problems ( opening a jar, transferring liquids from one container to another, etc). She more present than ever before and FEELS things in greater dimensions. What is going on she wanted to know….why is it going on she wondered.

She shared with me that when she had the perspective that her business was much further along now, than a year ago...she is really poised to take off; products to sell on her site, rough draft of first book to be made public, SEO company doing it’s thing, she felt amazed….very pleased, even proud; she really has come along way in 12 months in spite of the lack of support from some family members, she followed her heart, her passion.

Here’s where the fireworks start: as she moves more into the light, leaving the shadows behind, her separating from the clutches of the imaginary monsters fuels the fears of drowning financially, of going under...of being abandoned.

The more authentic she is, the more she will feel the heat of the fire. If you imagine a campfire, and as you dance around it, the closer you get to the center….the hotter it becomes. Is that metaphor any different than getting to our own center, our own core, our own unique personality, and quirkiness, what truly makes us our own person. The person who was denied so many years ago.

The monsters served a purpose when she was very young, when she lacked the physical skills to manage on her own. She has her own survival skills now…and frankly, has had them for years. But she is ready emotionally to move on, to reclaim her true identity…ergo, the conflict is now rising to the surface.
Living in denial, a many do, the conflicts stay dormant. Remember the fairy tales about disturbing the sleeping monster, or a sleeping bear? Beware.

How do we manage this conflict? It’s not easy, but clear and consistent: breathe deeply, read the chant we talk about in our sessions, try to get a different perspective; remember: “if you change the way to look at something, what you look at changes.” Have compassion for yourself…and patience for every step you take.

And, it is a life and death struggle: life for the authentic you and death to the monsters of your childhood.