I was listening to a friend the other day lament about an issue she was having with her 6 year old daughter. Her first reaction when witnessing what her daughter did, was embarrassment which converted into shame at 3 AM, as she tossed and turned and felt she was being a bad mother. The self-punishing demons were dancing around her bedroom. The years of suppressed anger from her step mother's critical and judgmental comments fueled the demons tap dance.
This was my advice to her:
First: she is six and a single child.
Second: the damage your step mother inflicted upon you came from her own psycho mother...you did nothing wrong; you only wanted to be loved, valued and the hole in your heart filled from the profound loss of your own mother.
Third: in order for you to heal these issues fostered upon you, sometimes the universe sends us packages, people, events, so we can have a real time 'workshop' within ourselves to heal the issue.
Maybe at birth, each person get's their homework assignments of what they have to heal in this life time, in this body, in this family.
Fourth: how many times do we comment that the universe puts things in our path for a reason ? You need to thank your daughter for this issue in order for you to heal and let go of it.
It is much less about what she did than the underlying feelings that got touched off.
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