Loosing your compass...

We are all born unique. Our feelings establish our identities. What feels good to one person may not be pleasurable to another. But, how many of us grew up in environments where we were told what to feel, what to think, what to be.
Which should not be confused with socializing. It is the parent’s responsibility to shape their children into productive and happy adults.
Right now, you are probably asking yourself: “what planet is Pegi from?”

The disconnect is: what our parents SHOULD have done verses what actually happened. In that regard, we are victims…we were innocent. They took our compasses away with their judgments, shame, criticisms, and replaced it with insecurities, doubt, anger, mis-trust of ourselves.

What is your true north?
How do you now, as an adult, reclaim your true identity?

It is not easy, but very doable. I know because this was my journey.

It starts with compassion for one’s self. Now, this was not easy for me, so I started by having compassion for others…trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, cutting them some slack, distancing myself from their “stuff” because whatever they were going through, I could not help them. My historic way of ‘fixing it’ or attempting to, really served no one but my ego. And, ultimately, they really never took my advice anyway.

Having compassion requires patience. Another topic foreign to me. I could not even spell patience. But, when you realize how little control you actually have in this world, it starts to be a real relief when you get past the old triggers and see that the only one you do have control over is yourself.

And, compassion is not just about the present…it’s about the past. That’s where most of my work had to be done; forgiving myself for some of the really dumb things I had done. Putting them into the perspective of: I did the best I could at the time. I made a decision based upon FEAR. And, as I have learned: EVERY DECISION MADE FROM FEAR will come back to bite you. I am not talking about something like: afraid to get on a plane. I am talking about the fear that emanates from not being authentic.

So, being compassionate is very related to being authentic. When you are being authentic, the chances that your heart and mind are open is greatly increased, thus allowing room for compassion.

Go forth with compassion for your past and patience for your future.