One of the great windows of opportunity for growth is commitments; keeping them or not. When we are presented with a choice, we are presented with an opportunity to move ahead towards healing, or staying in the exactly the same place we were the day or moment prior.
Making the choice sometimes creates resistance….perfect! That is where you get to see your inner 4-year old attempt to sabotage you and to see where the current, healthy adult that you actually are, go in and make the inner 4 yr old calm. When you choose to keep your commitments, you are providing leadership, guidance and security to your inner child; something that was lacking when you were growing up.
One of the main benefits of keeping your commitments is it will lay the groundwork for self-respect and self-respect is critical in healing.
A person in one of my workshops commented to me: “ I already keep all my commitments, so where is the learning opportunity for me?”
Good question.
The answer is: there are two different kinds of commitments; internal and external: commitments to yourself and commitments to the outside world.
Very often people spend more energy keeping their outside commitments for fear if they say “no”, they will be rejected. Sometimes people keep those outside commitments because they are coming from the need to be perfect all the time. They cannot distinguish when they have gotten to the “done” boundary.
But looking at the internal commitments reveals more to us. And are those commitments creating conflict…those conflicts give the opportunity for choice.
So, the woman who asked the question then had to reflect on exactly what kinds of commitments she is referring to. As we probed more, we saw that her internal commitments needed more input….more challenge; we needed to flush out her 4-year old.
In doing so, she was able to see a new canvas upon which she could start to find her self-respect which would be critical in learning to trust herself, like herself.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Changing Residences
I am currently watching a client move from the old file factory of FEAR into the house of JOY.
I am thrilled for her and once again feel validated that it is not too late to change; that even at 63, we can all make different choices.
It takes blind courage sometimes. Certainly a leap of Faith, definitely the early signs of Trust.
And, it is a slow process that requires patience and compassion.
Just yesterday I was talking with a person from our current workshop series, and she is 32, and she asked me:
“Tell me honestly, do you really think I can have a different life? Will there be a time when I actually stop worrying, stop being afraid of men, stop obsessing over money and my shame about it?”
I did not hesitate one iota, I knew the correct answer was ‘Yes” because of my journey into letting go of FEAR and embracing JOY.
As I trust myself now in my current life, so can she, so can you.
How much of our adult life is stuck in replaying old issues in our mind, repeatedly like a hamster on a wheel. That file factory stores not only real events, but imaginary ones as well. That’s a lot of megabites.
But, spiritually, this is our work in this life now; to heal, to mend, to forgive and move ahead. When we start practicing letting go it is a road of two steps ahead, one back…wash, rinse and repeat…. if we can keep our commitments, we can get there…trust the universe.
What happens, happens for a reason.
I am thrilled for her and once again feel validated that it is not too late to change; that even at 63, we can all make different choices.
It takes blind courage sometimes. Certainly a leap of Faith, definitely the early signs of Trust.
And, it is a slow process that requires patience and compassion.
Just yesterday I was talking with a person from our current workshop series, and she is 32, and she asked me:
“Tell me honestly, do you really think I can have a different life? Will there be a time when I actually stop worrying, stop being afraid of men, stop obsessing over money and my shame about it?”
I did not hesitate one iota, I knew the correct answer was ‘Yes” because of my journey into letting go of FEAR and embracing JOY.
As I trust myself now in my current life, so can she, so can you.
How much of our adult life is stuck in replaying old issues in our mind, repeatedly like a hamster on a wheel. That file factory stores not only real events, but imaginary ones as well. That’s a lot of megabites.
But, spiritually, this is our work in this life now; to heal, to mend, to forgive and move ahead. When we start practicing letting go it is a road of two steps ahead, one back…wash, rinse and repeat…. if we can keep our commitments, we can get there…trust the universe.
What happens, happens for a reason.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Your life as an obstacle course
Here it is the beginning of a new month, and so many people including myself are asking: I am still recovering from ‘loosing’ May, now, where did June go….? Why does time seem to pass so quickly the older we get.
Technology has added to our sense of speed and then impatience.
So, to suggest to someone that s-l-o-w-i-n-g down sometimes is the perfect antidote on the road to healing, it is no wonder I get in return that vague stare, that sudden loss of attention in an otherwise compelling moment.
As some wise people have noted, the answers are all inside of us; the future is in code, but in order to decipher it, one must slow down and be in the moment and allow our brains to breathe and move outside our comfort zone. Life begins at the edge of our comfort levels. We cannot find our own truths if we are busy texting, e-mailing and engaging in activities that require immediate responses, yesterday.
The events that unfold in front of us are there for a reason. They require we pay attention to them. They require an adjustment from us. They are there to teach us a lesson. If we take the perspective that everything is purposeful in this life, it shifts the energy and gives us permission to also shift.
It is then no surprise we move at warp speed and if we allow too many ‘holes in the fence’, we will feel frustrated, inadequate, and bewildered as to where time went.
But, if we stop, look and listen we then have a chance to make the correct choice for our healthy side, coming from our hearts instead of meeting someone else’s agenda.
Technology has added to our sense of speed and then impatience.
So, to suggest to someone that s-l-o-w-i-n-g down sometimes is the perfect antidote on the road to healing, it is no wonder I get in return that vague stare, that sudden loss of attention in an otherwise compelling moment.
As some wise people have noted, the answers are all inside of us; the future is in code, but in order to decipher it, one must slow down and be in the moment and allow our brains to breathe and move outside our comfort zone. Life begins at the edge of our comfort levels. We cannot find our own truths if we are busy texting, e-mailing and engaging in activities that require immediate responses, yesterday.
The events that unfold in front of us are there for a reason. They require we pay attention to them. They require an adjustment from us. They are there to teach us a lesson. If we take the perspective that everything is purposeful in this life, it shifts the energy and gives us permission to also shift.
It is then no surprise we move at warp speed and if we allow too many ‘holes in the fence’, we will feel frustrated, inadequate, and bewildered as to where time went.
But, if we stop, look and listen we then have a chance to make the correct choice for our healthy side, coming from our hearts instead of meeting someone else’s agenda.
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