I am reading Nancy Friday's 1977 book about a young girls' search for her own identity. The message is timeless; how we experience our mothers from the moment we exit the womb profoundly imprints how we view ourselves. For all the women I have seen over the last 2 years, the women who refuse to really look at their mothers as being flawed are the ones who have the least movement. Their refusal to allow in the 'light' is pure fear.
Children' need to see their mothers as perfect is a statement more about the fear of not being able to survive disappointment, which relates to the child's primal survival. The fear is: if the primary nurturer, Mom, can make a mistake, she might miss feeding me, holding me. So, children believe what their mother SAYS, but internally, they FEEL something is wrong. Thus, they are trapped. Reality verses fantasy. This is where our lives start to split into two tracks.
Our only hope as adults is for us to finally have compassion for our inner four year old, take care of her as we never were, listen to her and have patience. We can heal today, but it is a choice, it requires action, commitment, and honesty.
Have compassion for your past and patience for the future. Everything you do in this moment determines how you will feel 10 minutes from now, an hour from now.
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